Valentine Jokes For 14th February 2012

A Couple Of Valentine Jokes To Share On This Year's Valentine

1. Son: "Dad, what do I give my girlfriend as a valentine gift?"Dad: "How does she look?"Son: "She looks sweet, pretty, fun to be with and of course very sexy"Dad: "Give her my number!"2. The Best Valentine Divorce Letter, Ever! My dear husband: I'm writing this letterto inform you that I'm leaving you.I've been a good wife to you for the past 20yrs & I've nothing to show for it; And the last 2 weeks has been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you left ur job today which was the last straw.Last week, you came home & didn't even notice I have a new hairstyle,had cooked ur favorite meal & even wore abrand new nightie.You even ate in 2mins & went straight to sleep after watching ur TV soaps. You don't tell me u luv me anymore; you don't want anything that connects us as husband and wife.Either you're cheating on me or u don't love me anymore; whatever was thecase,I'm done.Your EX-WIFE.( Please don't bother to find me. Your brother & I are moving to Australia together!) Have a great life!REPLY: Dear Ex-Wife, nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.Its true u & I have been married for20yrs, although a good woman is far cryfrom what u've been. I watch TV soaps so much bcos dey drown out ur constant bitching and nagging. Too bad dat doesn't work anymore. I did notice when you got a hairdo last week; But 1st thing that came to my mind was you looked ugly! I didn't want to mess up your day by telling you.And when you 'cooked my favorite meal',you must have confused me for my brother because I never liked prawns — he did!About the new nightie, I turned away from you because the $199.99 price tag was still on it, & I pray it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed $200 from me dat morning. After all of this,I still loved u & felt we could work it out tonight.So when I won the $5million lotto, on Saturday, I left my job and bought a range rover and 2tickets for us to Paris for shopping, but when I got home u were gone.Everything happens for a reason, I guess.My lawyer said your letter ensures you won't need a penny from me.Goodbye.Your EX-husband.

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