The British Experience – Part 2

This is the second in a series of newsletters I wrote home to family and friends from the UK while I was staying there in 1999. Part One can be seen here.

The British Experience Newsletter....Part Two-Halloween and Guy Fawkes Day - Supplement.

Hello Mates!! I thought I'd get a head start on next month's newsletter as many things have happened and my old mind might forget if I waited any longer. Things are still going well and I am not as homesick as I first was. It is only when I call home, see something American on TV, talk to friends, get post from home, go online and see American chat rooms, read a USA Today, cook something American that I get really homesick. Did I mention when I see the colours red, white and blue in a clump together that I feel homesick as well? So there you have it on the homesick front. The last time I wrote I mentioned how brilliant the weather was. Well, let me tell you how brilliant it was NOT the very next day. It rained....and rained....and then for good measure it rained again, along with blowing a good gale for a whole day. In case people are not aware, England is an island. Therefore, we get high winds a lot which makes the rains a driving force when they DO come. You can be sitting in the sitting room (living room) on the settee (couch) and actually hear the wind coming down the chimney (chimney..hehehe..yeah, it's the same name here). Makes for some spooky sounds when all the lights are off and you are watching a scary movie. Now today it is brilliant again with just a bit of a nip in the air. The leaves are all turned and falling yet there are tons of flowers still in bloom. When you hear about the beautiful English countryside and gardens, believe it. These flowers are like killer flowers that never die. It is not uncommon to see roses still in bloom in peoples gardens (yards). It's neat.

Speaking of scary movies and things eerie, my sweet, wonderful Richard has taken to scaring the willies outta me. By the way, a willy over here is a penis lol!....At home it means the shivers, I think. Anyways, it all started last month when we watched the movie "Dracula." We were laying in bed, I looked over at Rich and he had his mouth formed like Dracula's with his teeth extending over his bottom lip. At first I just thought he was hungry and drooling, then it dawned on me, as he made the Dracula whooshing sound (like Dracula does when he moves swiftly) that he was trying to scare me. Well, Rich wouldn't give it up. He had me screaming and got me so spooked that I could not go to the bathroom cause the hall lights were out and the rest of the house was pitch black. I made him do a community pee with me. Served him right! Halloween night, we watched the classic movie "Halloween" with Jamie Lee Curtis and Michael Myers! Well, I watched the majority of the movie through spread fingers and a pillow over my face. All the lights were out, except for the lit pumpkin in the window. Every time a particularly scary part came on the screen, Rich would reach over and pull down the pillow from in front of my face, exposing my eyes to the gore on the screen. He scared me so bad that I refused to make his evening coffee cause the dining room and kitchen lights were off. SO, he offers to go with me, him going first. He gets to the kitchen, turns on the light and I proceed through the dining room. Halfway across the room, Rich turns off the kitchen light and I am left in total darkness. I am sure every neighbour on the street went, "What the bloody Hell," and thought someone had been murdered as I screamed this long, wailing scream. Heh heh heh....

We just celebrated Guy Fawkes Day, November 5th, commonly known as Bonfire Night. It is in celebration of the capture and murder of Guy Fawkes who tried to burn down The House of Parliament about a billion years ago..talk about your traditions. Anyways, Godalming, the town 2.6 miles from us, always hosts a bonfire and the townspeople have a torch parade ending at the bonfire site next to Sainsburys (the grocery store from Hell, remember?). Rich explains to me that the fireworks are incredible and can be seen right out his bathroom window. So, appropriately I make popcorn and about 8 pm we traipse upstairs to the bathroom to watch fireworks. There we were, Rich sitting on the toilet, me on a chair, drinking a beer and eating popcorn, watching fireworks out the bathroom window, giving our commentaries of oooooh and ahhhh at each one. Mandy from next door heard us laughing and giggling and she comes over. Now there's THREE of us in Rich's bathroom, ooohhhing and aaaahhhing. After the light show, Mandy and Rich leave to go downstairs and I said I would join them in a minute as all the excitement caused me to need to pee. Rich ALWAYS turns lights off as he leaves a room, so I reminded him that the bathroom light was broken and to please leave the hall light on for me. Well, lo and behold, he turns off the light and he and Mandy go dead silent. There I am, midstream on the toilet. All of a sudden I see something coming through the darkened hallway. It is my wonderful, DERANGED Richard, crawling on his hands and knees to scare me. We are just lucky there are bathmats in front of the toilet. I must tell you about Halloween over here....or lack of Halloween over here. They do not celebrate Halloween on the same level that we do. As soon as October came, I was ready to hang the things I had brought from home in Richard's front bay window. He was livid. He just kept saying, "Bon, what are you going to hang and WHY?" I just kept it to myself, waited for him to go to work then broke out my hologram pumpkins, my wrought iron pumpkin, bats, witches and ghost tea-light candle holders and my light-up, blinking pumpkin for the front window. Mandy from next door was here when he came home and we could see his mouth saying "what the bloody hell...." and this grimace on his face as he passed the window. We just roared. He came in and kept it low key, butt later that evening, as he was watching TV, he just had to comment. I think it was when he saw the tiny, hanging-upside-down purple hologram bat I stuck to the TV screen that did it. He kept asking how long these things would be up and I told him till November 1st, of course. Over time he got used to them. So much so that the blinking pumpkin is still hanging in the front window, right above the huge Thanksgiving turkey and cornucopia I put up November 1st in honour of Thanksgiving coming, something else they don't celebrate over here...duh! Richard finally got into the Halloween mood. I think when Mandy and Dave bought me a witches hand that had a long black bag attached underneath for holding treats and cackled like a witch saying, "Happy Halloween", "Trick ormTreat", and "Thank Youuuuu", he knew he was outnumbered. Mandy and Dave have 3 children, so Halloween, even low-key as it is over here, is a given with them.

On October 29th Richard surprised me with a big pumpkin. I brought pumpkin carving tools and patterns with me, so I thought it would be nice if I let him carve his very own pumpkin. It was his virginal pumpkin, as he had NEVER carved one in his life. He was like a kid in a candy store. He carved this pumpkin like a Samurai (Sam R. I.) and was thrilled at how good it looked. We put a candle in it right away, took pictures with him holding it, and guess where it went? Yep!! Right in the front window under my blinking pumpkin and my holograms. It looked marvelous. By the way, the pumpkin I carved got stuck on the side telephone stand, out of sight to the viewing public walking down the pavement (sidewalk). I kept thinking "what's wrong with this picture"....HE doesn't do Halloween, I do...and HIS pumpkin gets front and center in the window?...hmmmmm. Later Sunday evening, the 4 neighborhood kids came round and trick or treated. I gave them the candy I had reserved for them and it went well. Then another batch of blokes came around, to which Richard commented "what do they want?" I gave them the candy bars we had stashed in the cupboard. Then ANOTHER set of kids came knocking....to whom Richard would NOT open the door. There we were, sitting in full view of these kids, eating our dinner, and Richard said to just ignore them. I laughed and said, "You just don't get this Halloween thing do you?" He asked what I would give them and I said I had some cookies, or I could give them money. I thought he was going to choke on his dinner. He said, "You will NOT give up our cookies and certainly not our money". He called them beggars and I just howled. I said that was EXACTLY what they were. Well, the rest of the evening we sat in the sitting room and watched and listened to all the kids and did not answer the door again. He said that they were the most trick or treaters he had had in all the nearly 10 years he had lived in this house. Come to find out that if you left a lit pumpkin in the front window of your home, that meant you were entertaining trick or treaters and they could knock at your door. No wonder we had so many kids....and it was HIS bloody pumpkin lit in the window inviting them to knock.

The kids next door dressed in homemade costumes, like witches and ghouls. They would go to a couple of houses then come home, dump the candy out, see what they had, eat some, then proceed to a couple more houses. This is different from the States. Our kids go to ALL the houses, maybe eating a piece of candy along the way, THEN come home and dump out their stash and see what they have. Sophie, the 8-year-old daughter of Mandy and Dave, came in after a few minutes, pulled her witches nose off and said in this little, proper English voice and accent, "This nose is annoying me, I shan't wear it anymore." I just laughed as it sounded so grown up. Our kids would whine and fuss. She just nonchalantly made the choice to not wear her annoying witch's nose. I had the kids over the week before Halloween and made cutout Halloween cookies with them. They iced them great and got to take all of them home. They can't wait to do Christmas cutout cookies now. Jessica, aged 12, from across the street, came over on Sunday and we carved her pumpkin into a howling wolf. She was chuffed! (pleased)

My niece, Julie, sent my Thanksgiving care package. All the Halloween stuff got moved around and the turkeys added to the front window. She also sent me one of those centerpiece turkeys you open up like an accordion. It is sitting on one of the stereo speakers above the TV. I am going to move it to another prominent place as you can't see it well enough to get the full effect of all the autumn colors in it. Rich has made several suggestions where I can place these Thanksgiving decorations and I just ignore it. I just can't wait until he sees my Christmas decorations. The kids next door are selling things from a catalog and I have purchased 50 glow-in-the-dark Christmas holograms for the windows. You expose them to the light and they glow for THREE HOURS!! I can't wait to see Richard's face when he comes down the street from work. Won't he be thrilled? And wait till he tries to turn off the sitting room lights at night...LOLOL! Paybacks are a bitch, aren't they? And have I got a surprise planned for the postman....not only will I have the talking wreath that sings "Deck the Halls" and "We Wish You A Merry Christmas", as its eyes blink, but I have also ordered a mat you lay on the path that says "Ho Ho Ho" when you step on it....I can just see him doing the twist around that bad puppy...LOL! I must admit, I have yet to see anything in anyone's windows here of this nature. Americans plaster their windows with something seasonal every month. Over here, all you see in the windows are lace curtains, cats and window boxes with plants.

Another definition lesson here....Plasters are what they call their Band-Aids and costumes their bathing suits. Quaint, huh? LOL!

Well, there you have my stories bringing me current to November 10th. I will keep updating everyone as the days go by. I have already completed half of my next newsletter about the neighbors. They are all really cool.

I still miss everyone and wish I could just go home for a day, make a trip to WalMart and hug you all. They say you must be careful what you wish for cause you just might get it. I always wished Rich and I could be together....I should have wished that we could be together in the States...a slight flaw in my wishing. Jerry will be here in 2 weeks, 5 days so I will get a taste of the States once again. We are planning a train trip into London so that will be interesting.

Take care everyone and PLEASE let me know when you get this (my sneaky way of getting some mail) ~~~~Wavin' from the UK....love ya all....Rich and Bon.