Application to date my daughter. ( Joke ) NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor. NAME__________________________ DATE OF BIRTH___________________ HEIGHT________WEIGHT__________ IQ___________ GPA______________ SOCIAL SECURITY #_______________ DRIVERS LICENSE #_______________ BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES_______ HOME ADDRESS___________________ CITY/STATE___________ ZIP________ Do you have parents? ___Yes ___No
If No, explain:
_____________________________________________ _____________________________________________ Number of years they have been married ____________ If less than your age, explain _____________________ _____________________________________________ A truck with oversized tires? ______________________ A waterbed?___________________________________ A pickup with a mattress in the back?________________ Do you have an earring ? _________________________ nose ring, or a navel ring? ________________________ A tattoo?______________________________________ (IF YES TO THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE PREMISES) In 50 words or less, what does LATE mean to you?
______________________________________________ ______________________________________________ ______________________________________________ In 50 words or less, what does "DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" mean to you? ______________________________________________ ______________________________________________ In 50 words or less, what does ABSTINENCE mean to you? ______________________________________________ ______________________________________________ Church you attend _______________________________ How often you attend ____________________________ When would be the best time to interview your: father? ________________________________________ mother? _______________________________________ pastor? ________________________________________ Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers are confidential. A: If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be: _______________________________________________ B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my: _______________________________________________ C: A woman's place is in the: _______________________________________________ D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is: ________________________________________________ What do you want to do IF you grow up? _______________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ What is the current going rate of a hotel room? __________ I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND OTHER TORTURE. ________________________________________________
Signature (that means sign your name, *****!) Thank you for your interest. Please allow four to six years for processing. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write (since you probably can't, and it would cause you injury). If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentleman wearing white ties carrying violin cases (you might watch your back). 1 … | 
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