Two Kids, a Cat and a Load of Fish

Sometimes you need to stop, have a good look at yourself, and make a change. Last summer when I suddenly went quiet over here on my beloved blog, I had finally admitted to being depressed and started treatment. Now, don’t get me wrong, it hasn’t been easy, it’s been pretty hard actually, but nothing worthwhile is easy, I’m quite sure this is not quite the expression. Since last summer, good things just keep coming into my life, I don’t necessarily feel a whole load better but good stuff is...

I am struggling with this awful thought. It keeps coming back to me over and over again. I don’t deserve this nice house. It’s ridiculous I know, I mean it’s not even like we bought it. Without wanting to come over as unnecessarily mushy, it’s all I ever really wanted for my family and me. It has the three bedrooms I thought would give the children some independence and privacy as they grow and the garden they can frolic in and discover the beauty of mother nature and all her squirmy, wriggly...

My maman. She's a truly incredible woman. She is brave, fearless and strong, she loves with her whole self. As her child or her grandchild you know she will literally do anything for you. My maman grew up in 1940s and 1950s Quebec, Canada, in a working class family. She is the oldest of six children, 5 girls and one boy. In her twenties, looking for something new and different, she went travelling in Europe, she met my father whilst in England and didn't leave for over thirty years. My mum...

I thought I'd talk to the kids about themselves, there's not much they like better. What I say is written in gray, what Littlest Bean says is in Pink and what Cuddles says is in blue. How old are you?I am three and three quarters (he is nearly three and a half) I am in "kindergarden" almost going to first grade. What do you like to do when you're not at school? Tell me something about yourself.I'm sure. (he does actually, once a week) Where is your favorite place to go on vacation? What do...

The story of my first child being born. I am working up to it. I realize I am a hypocrite. I’ve been thinking a lot about the importance of sharing your traumatic birth stories and how cathartic it is and it led me to the realization that I do not talk about it anymore and when people ask me about it I shrug it off and minimize it. I will happily talk about little parts of it, but I can’t bring myself to tell the whole heaping pile of stinking awfulness (is that a bit much?) that was our...

Today is a gray drizzly day in Southern California. This is not too unusual for June as we have what is called June gloom. Unfortunately there is also such a thing as May gray so by July we are really ready to have our sunshine back. We usually visit family in the UK that time of year and get rain for two weeks. Rain in the UK is good because it makes leaving easier! This afternoon I am heading to Littlest Bean's school for a parent conference. Rather than being spoken to by her teacher it is...

(warning: this posted is heavily-hyphenated) Today Littlest Bean is performing in her Kindergarten talent show. She is going to be a mime, I'm full of all sorts of pride, mainly I am delighted she isn't following blindly in my footsteps and doing ballet. She chose something that isn't particularly girly and nobody else is doing, and pink for once is not making up any part of her outfit. The outfit, prrrrt. I couldn't decide whether to buy her something or make do right up until school...

Firstly I did promise I'd let you know how the talent show went. Littlest Bean did great. She was a little nervous and rushed through it a little but she did look like she was enjoying herself and I am over the moon that she was brave enough to get up on the stage all on her own and do her act, twice in one day. (She doesn't think she is brave but we know otherwise). Yesterday was the last day of Kindergarten, I can't quite fathom this, someone said she's now officially a first grader....

I just dropped my friend at the airport. A dear old friend from back home. It was so great to see her, it had been four years. For the first hour or two, we gradually got to know each other again, by the time the kids were in bed and I had made us a couple of frozen margaritas, we pretty much shared with each other a concentrated version of our lives for the past six years. Then I think we felt all caught up and like nothing had ever changed. The weather was beautiful and we spent the...

I write from the heart. When I just let my thoughts take over and write exactly what's inside of me, that is when I am at my best. If I pre-meditate a post or plan in anyway, it stands out like a sore thumb. Unfortunately sometimes I do not want to share what is my foremost in my mind, and this is one of those times. So I have been left with a sort of writers block. The same thing happened when I wasn't able to to write about Littlest Bean's birth and operation. Whilst it was on my mind and...

I've experienced a return to creativity lately. It began at the end of the summer when I threw myself into the preparations for my daughter's Harry Potter-themed birthday party. I busied myself making paper bag owls, milk bottle owls, flying keys and banners. My neighbor and I spent many happy hours painting and brainstorming and I was overwhelmed at how much I enjoyed myself. I have also been sewing more, I volunteered to make signs for a recent renaissance carnival at my daughter's school,...

Prologue first if you haven’t already. Some of you may find it a bit heavy going. My mum had turned up in New York a few days previously. We celebrated my 27 th birthday on the Sunday, I remember being very uncomfortable, G and my mum bought a lovely strawberry and chocolate cake for me from a Brooklyn patisserie and I had trouble eating my piece having so little space in my stomach. A few days later, early on Thursday morning my mum accompanied me on the subway up to Manhattan for a...

Friday April 29 th Moving day finally arrived. I woke up as per my new cough-riddled routine at around 5am. At 7am we got dressed and started gathering our vital belongings. I had packed a backpack each for myself and the kids so that we could take our clean clothes straight out and put our dirty clothes in without having to risk leaving anything or losing anything. Everything was going to plan, I had the box out ready to pack up the cat and was going to go ahead to the new house with her and...

We have a cat, her name is Olive. Here she is: The kids love Olive dearly, in fact their passionate affection for her can sometimes be a little too much to bear. She avoids Cuddles, who is 3, almost entirely, but she has a lot more patience and trust when it comes to Littlest Bean who knows, most of the time, how to be gentle. One morning very early I heard this exchange between Littlest Bean and Olive the Cat: LB: Ollie, Ollie come here Ollie... OtC: [silence] LB: Ollieeeeeeee, Ollieeeee,...

They’ve all gone mad. OK we’re all a little tired and under the weather but within the space of about 60 seconds my family has erupted into hysteria. My husband has this old shirt that he wears constantly, I have been bugging him to throw it out as it had started to tear. He ignored me and continued to wear the dear old thing, until this afternoon when I noticed the back of it had lots of little holes, the fabric was falling apart. So I mentioned it to him and said if he pulled on it the...