BONGO IS ME

The past few days we have been living in a tornado... a bottomless pit... She's gone again... it's me Bongo .. She was with P and Bonnie's mother in session together... Bonnie requested this to try and talk through things  with P holding her hand ... something went very wrong.. wrong enough that...

She's there...  short black hair... bright red lipstick.. a pretty dress with the colors:  red, black and white... sits flowing just below her knees... and she stands barefoot... two feet in the ocean... she stares straight ahead .... imagining the peace she is about to find.. a peace she has...

Dissociative Identity Disorder ... (DID) a curse or a blessing... crazy or wounded... I have spent my life researching and researching.... the book knowledge is there.. I know this disorder inside out... I can help and or explain to others.... the struggle... I can not explain it to myself.. I...

How can I be here again... that place of silence , panic and fear? I had a vacation.. I had a special time with a friend... but I shut down and have not been able to bounce back... I've been here before..  this thing called avoidance and Denial.. I bounce back every time...somehow some way......

I am here... I don't know where here is. this space has been dark and quiet ... I understand so much... I understand nothing.. I thought I understood...  this thing called DID.. I was wrong.. I understand nothing.. Process... that has become the hated word.. Therapy... no clue what that really...

She cries... but her tears are not caught She screams .. but her screams are not heard She prays... but her prayers are not answered She appears alive... but she is dead She bathes.. but the dirt remains She hurts... yet she doesn't feel They have eyes.... yet they do not see Does anyone hear...

sometimes it's horrible in my own head .. like monsters attacking me.. and im' a gentle and loving person.. and the monster inside is scaring the little ones .. for the first time in a long time,,,  I am afraid of not seeing p for a weekend.. andIi told her so.. and rationally it makes sense...

so all these alters are in my head .. and they hold all this pain.. wich is supposedly   my pain... how do I ever see or feel it as me .. who out there has an answer cause I don't I have a hard time seeing any of this as happening to me .. but I sure do feel it during a flashback.. a flashback is...

Yesterday I had a really bad day.. A so called friend that I hadn't seen in 3 years I visited... she pretty much said she didn't believe me and hurt me down inside... ' she said this was her story.. '' I said it was hundreds of thousands of people stories .'  but she was referring to my stories...

The last 2 weeks have been something out of a horror film... if I didn't live it I'd think someone was telling me some sci fi movie plot... i'm switching like lighting bolts... I can't remember what I have done from minutes to minute... I hate alcohol and I'm drinking like a fish.. I'm talking...

AN ANGEL ON EARTH.... PLEASE HELP THIS ANGEL BY BUYING HER BOOK... SHE IS A GENTLE ADVOCATE AGAINST DOMESTIC VIOLENCE...who is waiting for God to take her home to her beloved mother... Thank you Susan for all you have done.. for giving your life and expecting nothing in return.... I love you ....

After being surrounded by a few deaths lately... it seems to have taken it's toll.. and sent me swirling into my own suicide ideation again... I don't think it would be fair to mention the name od the deceased and or dying.. but they are people I knew directly or indirectly... I guess the death...

I feel I owe an explanation as to why I had closed the blog down.. I was originally just going to keep it private.. a place for only me to see. never worrying another soul... never having to admit again where my head was at...... I'm now writing this post from the pushing from a person called...

I have been meeting with P about 2 years now.... She has always been aware of the alters and my suicide ideation and actions.. I have been nothing but honest with her.. and I was comfortable disclosing things I would not to others.... Today I had been messaging her and emailing her about the...

Now meet the rest of us ....... It is with great hesitation that We write this post .... there is so much controversy about this disorder..and writing about it leaves us open to hurtful comments..... I'm sure a lot of people have heard about or seen the movie Sybil... I assure you (at least...

Thank you Pins N Ashes For that AWESOME introduction.... Bongo Is Me Is proud to take part in a blog hop of 28 bloggers from around the world...I am proud and excited to be 3rd in line for this Awesome adventure... I hope you can take a leap back and check out Pins N Ashes ...... Here is my...

We have found our selves in quite a few social situations.... because of my social phobia.. Bongo has stepped up to the plate.... uhhhh that would be a praise God.... In social situations .. I become shaky and disoriented.... panic prevails.... but I have gotten through it thanks to Bongo.... I...