Ballad of the Old Kingdom

‘You know gentlemen, it is considered as polite to reply when someone greets you’ lisped the strange little vampire in his thin, reedy voice ‘and also you two gentlemen are usually never short of something to say; especially you Vladimirescu, you have a tendency to witter on interminably!’ Even this barb didn’t seem to penetrate Vlad’s dull incomprehension at what he was seeing and hearing, and he continued to stare at the strange creature incredulously. Roland was somewhat quicker to...

The little vampire put his head coyly to one side and looked up at Roland through strangely thick, dark lashes. ‘Well, as you know De Cazalrenoux, it’s a brutal world if you are one of the movers and shakers of the Old Kingdom. Vampires are vain creatures, and will usually only sire offspring on fit, good looking humans, but my sire was a perverse creature. He came across a strange looking human child, and thought it would be funny to create a vampire from this unpromising clay. Of course,...

Corporal Michael Morrison groaned as he painfully pulled himself up on his elbow to have a look at how much damage he the stalagmite had done to his leg. It had penetrated his right thigh and was pinning his whole leg to the rocky earth of the cave floor. His little band of vampires had by now clustered around him and were looking down at him with shock and pity on their gray, wasted faces. But his little crew were all gentle souls, who were pathetically grateful that Mike had helped them an

Corporal Michael Morrison groaned as he painfully pulled himself up on his elbow to have a look at how much damage he the stalagmite had done to his leg. It had penetrated his right thigh and was pinning his whole leg to the rocky earth of the cave floor. There was very little blood and, as yet, very little pain from the wound, but Mike knew that pulling out the stalagmite would set the blood gushing and he would probably die within minutes from blood loss. He was also grimly aware that he was in shock, and that any wrong movement could be potentially fatal. His little band of vampires ...

The little vampire put his head coyly to one side and looked up at Roland through strangely thick, dark lashes. ‘Well, as you know De Cazalrenoux, it’s a brutal world if you are one of the movers and shakers of the Old Kingdom. Vampires are vain creatures, and will usually only sire offspring on fit, good looking humans, but my sire was a perverse creature. He came across a strange looking human child, and thought it would be funny to create a vampire from this unpromising clay. Of course, what he didn’t know was that although the child had physical peculiarities, it was also uniquely intelligent ...

‘You know gentlemen, it is considered as polite to reply when someone greets you’ lisped the strange little vampire in his thin, reedy voice ‘and also you two gentlemen are usually never short of something to say; especially you Vladimirescu, you have a tendency to witter on interminably!’ Even this barb didn’t seem to penetrate Vlad’s dull incomprehension at what he was seeing and hearing, and he continued to stare at the strange creature incredulously. Roland was somewhat quicker to recover, and grabbed Kingsteignton’s proffered hand, but instead of shaking it, he held it up to examine it

Roland felt strangely detached as he watched Vladimirescu gulping and trying to regain his composure. The past twenty four hours had just been too strange – he felt that he had experienced every emotion that a werewolf was capable of and that he was trapped in some horrible joke that he couldn’t find his way out of. Costello, Antonescu and Kingsteignton just remained where they were, not moving and with a completely blank look in their eyes. It was like someone had pulled a plug and they had just shut down like robots or computers. The big question in Roland’s mind was whether they had been

Roland retreated back towards the fireplace and watched the scene in front of him unfold. Costello was still waving his chicken leg in the air cheerily, but Vlad's face had crumpled like a kicked little puppy and Kingsteignton had assumed a faintly supercilious smirk. Interestingly the usually loquacious Count was still silent and had got rather a blank look on his face. 'Maybe the Count is just a robot or zombie controlled by Kingsteignton after all' thought Roland to himself with a little inward laugh. 'M...Mm...Mike!' wailed Vladimirescu 'I was so worried about you! How can you be

'Kingsteignton' started Roland cordially 'What a nice surprise?' 'Hardly, De Cazalrenoux, when you are wandering up and down the street outside my house with your two companions' returned Kingsteignton smoothly 'I was actually expecting you a lot sooner? What happened, did you have trouble getting Vladimirescu to agree to come?' 'On the contrary, Vladimirescu was the one urging us on, but a good night's rest and daylight both seemed to be a good idea'. 'And I suppose that there was the little matter of you being in wolf-form to be considered, hmm!' By now it had occurred to the two

Roland shuddered at the thought of what he must look like as he walked down Clarence Crescent with the two vampires. He had put on the tatty green sweatshirt with Che Guevara emblazoned on the front that Vlad had tearfully thrust at him, and had found a thin purple nylon windcheater in the hall. It offered no protection against the sharp spring breeze, which was nipping at his ears and nose despite the watery sunshine. Purple and green together, what would his stylist think? Not that the vampires looked any better. Both of them were hunched up in long black cloak affairs that reached the

'Hold still, Roland, or I will never get this bandage on!' chided Eunice frostily as she attempted to roll a bandage over Roland's badly bitten arm 'You could really do with some stitches you know, why don't you let us take you to A&E'.Vlad, who was trying to restrain Antonescu in the corner, just gulped as he saw Roland's flat, angry eyes as he tried to jerk his arm away from Eunice's dainty, but firm, grip. This morning was definitely not going as planned! And they needed to rescue poor, old Mike!'If it wasn't for you, Miss Batchworth, the Count wouldn't have about two inches of my flesh dangling

By the time that Roland and Vlad had burst into the kitchen, having first been delayed by a brief scuffle as to who was going to get through the door first which Roland's superior height helped him win, the Count was leaning back against the sink with a supercilious sneer on his face and Eunice was rubbing her sore wrist with a decidedly stormy look on her face.Roland flung himself over to Eunice, grabbed her to him and asked in a hoarse voice'Are you OK, what has that brute done to you? Where has he hurt you?'Eunice, who didn't appreciate being mauled by Roland any more than she did being man-handled ...