Of nothing?It’s hard to come back to this after the bad experience I had. What a shock to see questionable content ads on a site talking about what its like to live dying from cancer. I suppose the loud I went from blah to blah and you can too ads are not much better. Why don’t I see such tasteless things on wordpress.com? Am I looking at the wrong things? Am I saying the wrong things?I had finally got the hang of it and was making this site into a kind of all purpose check out my experience and it might help you place. I had all these things ready to post: research, testimony, links to   read more

I wanted my partner to be able to add to this blog, but the only way it seemed she’d be able to co-author it was to have a blog of her own. So she got an account and never got the email saying she was accepted. They told her it would take 7 to 10 days. A few days ago I had her look in her overflowing spam box and she found the email. I went and put in a post because I was ecstatic that she would be able to help here.Two days later. She tells me she got an email saying the account was terminated because she didn’t write in it. I guess we are just not fast enough for the fast moving world   read more

Throughout my life I have taken massive doses of vitamin C when I got sick. When I was diagnosed with cancer and my mother was caring for me, she offered the same - massive doses of vitamin C. What did I know? I took them. Now it seems that vitamin C in massive doses is bad for cancer. Actually its good for cancer - it repairs the cells damaged by chemo.On the other hand, vitamin C in smaller doses is good for things like vitamin D and calcium absorption. Sigh. What’s a dying boy to do? I imagine that within the next few years I will learn that previous studies have been refuted. That is the   read more

I knew it was there. I just didn’t care. But now all my buddies on hubpages are getting on - hence it becomes a social experiment, which relates one hundred percent to this blog.Here’s the logic. I have Asperger’s which means poor social connections (why is quite a long story, so not here, not yet) - poor social connections = less support. Less support = more stress. Stress equals cancer. Cancer equals death. SO I need to find ways to make social connections. I already know that I do better communicating online, so the more ways I do that, the more options I have in terms of selecting   read more

Dang stomach bug is making me think weird thoughts.I remember when it was not ok for a man to have a diary. But it was ok to have a journal, so I had one of those. Then it wasn’t OK to have a journal, so I kept a log.I suppose I asked for it with my description of this blog as a journal. But I did want to be something more professional, and it seems that you can’t set your own category of blog subject, which makes sense from an organizational point of view. If I could, then I would classify this as something else, because, as everyone knows, real men don’t do diaries or journals.But   read more

Dang dang dang dang. How could I be so stupid? Of course I fell, I was walking with my cane and I don’t have a handicap sticker so I had to walk across the whole parking lot and everything melted and froze and they didn’t sand or salt because everything *looks* dry. I was wearing my sacrilegious leather jacket (remind me to tell you about my vegetarian days) and a sweater underneath, so I am hoping all I did was jar some sense into me.I have to fill out a form, and fax it and had to report it to the supervisor. Everyone is saying I will feel it tomorrow. I am hoping I am not that heavy   read more

As usual, another delay. Amazed these days that the delays are more due to things related to cancer than to ADHD or Asperger’s. Today’s delay comes courtesy of the bone damage from the cancer, and as I have said in the past, damage occurred as early as my twenties. Today’s particular delay is related to my broken and unrepairable sternum. It’s cracked in half and clicks and buckles depending on what i do.Yes. It’s danged unpleasant, and today it hurts right through the medication I take to keep my bones from hurting. It’s an interesting pain - more scary than hurt. I don’t   read more

Sigh. It is the nature of cancer and ADHD and even Asperger’s that I don’t notice things that would to other people be important. So what’s important to me about Today.com? That they pay me as contracted and as I argued in my Wet Blanket post? You’d  think so, because I argued, arguably eloquently, that my blog with it’s baby steps of biography qualified for payment.Not so. Each time I log on here I look for comments. Did someone find me? Did someone find me interesting? This is what matters to me as I face the end of my life. I have no children, no common legacy. I have not   read more

My sister recently visited me at my mother’s house in the country (it isn’t what you think). She brought with her an arsenal of lore and some vitamin B, which she said would help with the side effects of  my chemo. When folks talk about vitamin B they usually are referring to a vitamin B complex, as there are a number of vitamin Bs.You can find equivocal results on Vitamin B and cancer prevention HERE and HERE , as well as an article on the rise and fall of vitamin B-17, or Laetrile . I suppose I should be happy that vitamin B-6 fights colorectal cancer , but it doesn’t work for   read more

The bad part of multiple myeloma is that it whacks your immune system. Mine already had some whacks from rheumatic fever and celiac disease (see - there is some place for biography in a professional blog). What all of that means is that if this really is the GI bug I am in for a hell of a fight to get rid of it. I only have a few more hours to rest and then I go to work. The hospitals are making people that have it stay away three days after their symptoms are gone. I wish. The hospitals are paying people to stay away,  but i doubt my job will do that. We are contractors to the hospital, we aren’t   read more