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The Death of Algernon

 in  Humor   

Larry Kowalski had been a surfer and still enjoyed swimming in the Pacific. But when it wasn’t summer, the days were depressingly shorter, and Larry asked his California Health Insurance agent Matt Lockard if his policy covered Freudian psychiatric care.  As for the demise of his son’s pet turtle, that just wasn’t at the core of his sadness. Larry loved summer. He preferred that halcyon season to last forever, an endless array of longest days spent frolicking in the California surf & sun. Every year was the same. The days grew shorter. He didn’t surf anymore now that he was approaching   read more

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Mobry’s 2010 Medicare Advantage PPO

 in  Humor   

Mabel Mobry, a hippie centenarian from San Francisco, wondered if she had the freedom to get a prescription for medical marijuana under her 2010 Medicare Advantage PPO plan, so she phoned her trusted California Health Insurance agent to find out.   For a 2010 Medicare Advantage enrollment kit call Matt toll free at 1-866-861-0477 Mabel Mobry, still spry after surviving for exactly a century, pined for the days when she could get high with reckless abandon before all those Draconian blue laws gummed things up. When she was younger, she’d gone to Woodstock and heard Jimmy Hendrix play   read more

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Parrot-like people prefer the freedom of 2010 Medicare Advantage PPOs

 in  Humor   

California Health Insurance agent Matt Lockard never had the advantage to meet a parrot-like person face-to-beak. But he discovered that they have the freedom to confront 2010 Medicare Advantage PPO Plan issues similar to most Californians. Need a Medicare Advantage Plan? Call 1-866-861-0477 for a kit. Maisie M. Mynah was a sweet blue haired sixty-eight-year-old from Eureka who other than being able to whistle the national anthem tended to repeat herself and mimic behaviors so that it annoyed those around her. She’d been married eleven times and was still searching for that special guy   read more

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Black Friday shopping spree turns dark

 in  Humor   

Amelia Nosehart liked to fly through the malls to get a head start on Christmas. But a policy she’d purchased from California Health Insurance agent Matt Lockard literally helped save her sight when “shopping” went horribly wrong. Amelia Nosehart’s favorite day of the year was the day after Thanksgiving when Rancho Bernardo shoppers could get a head start on their Christmas shopping with early bird specials.  Retail stores in neighboring burbs would open at two, three, four, five a.m. in efforts to woo obsessed shoppers just like Amelia.  But at Ye Olde Pet Shoppe what should   read more

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When Turkey Raising Turns Foul

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Twelve-year-old Gifford Sullivan was asked to raise a turkey for his family’s Thanksgiving dinner and … his turkey became a pet. Because of California Health Insurance agent Matt Lockard, the disaster that ensued was not made infinitely worse.  Gifford loved his turkey. No, literally. Gifford loved his turkey. A Sullivan family tradition was to have the eldest child raise a wild turkey that would, at the appointed time, a few days prior to Thanksgiving, be sacrificed as the family’s dinner. “Don’t get too attached to that turkey, Giff,” his mom tried to tell him, but such an admonition   read more

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Get A Good Night’s Sleep -Catching colds when you don’t sleep

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lack of sleep compromises our immune systems and makes us more susceptible to colds and flu. A California Health Insurance agent is there for you so that you can sleep better. Sleep Well:   read more

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Cult of the Great Pumpkin

 in  Humor   

California health insurance agents pay homage to Charlie Brown’s comic strip deity.  The cartoon boy with an “every boy’s” persona would ask the Great Pumpkin arcane questions about life, and in a manner of being, the inanimate orange harvest veggie assumed the stature of an odd deity – or at least a sage in the tradition of certain gods transported from Greek Mythology. As a religion, such a pumpkin cult has its merits, and in these days of strident calls for health care reform, certain California Health Insurance agents have taken to visiting pumpkin patches in search of their   read more

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Sneaking Halloween Candy

 in  Humor   

Pamela Longbottom tried to sneak a jawbreaker from her eight-year-old’s bag after returning home from trick-or-treating. Biting into the hard candy provoked a scream of pain, however, and an unexpected trip to their dentist. Having purchased dental coverage from a California Health Insurance agent eventually allowed her to smile again.  Pamela Longbottom, a single mom, decided to go out trick-or treating with Morticia, her pale-looking eight-year-old. She was pleasantly surprised when the choice of her daughter’s name was greeted positively for once by one of the family’s more astute   read more

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Teens need their beauty sleep

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When 15-year-old twins Alexander and Penelope began developing a myriad of symptoms, it was a mystery until a series of visits to a nearby hospital’s sleep clinic began to produce some answers. Their frantic parents would have been even more in a tizzy if the hospital bills hadn’t been covered – thanks to their California Health Insurance agent Matt Lockard.  ”Asleep” The Smiths Alexander and Penelope were identical twins except for their gender. Blonde and blue-eyed, with perfect skin and on the cusp of being adults, the twins thrived during a marvelous summer.  Tennis camp,   read more

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Swine Flu Survival Guide – California Health Insurance

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When Suzie Porcine went to the “swine flu” assembly she asked questions. Word got back to her Dad what his daughter had asked. Mr. Albert Porcine kept stressing how lucky they were to already have a family health insurance plan purchased from California Health Insurance agent Matt Lockard. But he was sensitive about certain matters.Escondido High where Suzie Porcine attended held an assembly to educate students about H1N1 influenza, also called “swine flu.” Sample bottles of Purell and surgical masks were handed to each student as they entered the auditorium. The Principal, Mrs. Viscera   read more

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Default_userpic mattlockard

registered on 27.08.2009
last time online 23.10.2009

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