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Journal

God is closer than you think



Self esteem doesn't get any higher than this

A young woman brings home her fiancée to meet her parents. After dinner, her mother tells her father to find out about the young man. The father invites the fiancée to his study for a drink.

“So what are your plans?” the father asks the young man.

“I am a Torah scholar,” he replies.

“A Torah scholar. Hmm.” the father says. “Admirable, but what will you do to provide a nice house for my daughter to live in as she’s accustomed to?”

“I will study,” the young man replies, “and God will provide for us.”

“And how will you buy her a beautiful engagement ring such as she deserves?” asks the father.

“I will concentrate on my studies,” the young man replies, “and God will provide for us.”

“And children?” asks the father. “How will you support children?”

“Don’t worry, sir, God will provide,” replies the fiancée.

The conversation proceeds like this, and each time the father questions, the young idealist insists that God will provide.

Later, the mother asks, “How did it go, honey?”

The father answers, “He has no job and no plans, but the good news is he thinks I’m God.”

Tagged as joke torah scholar god


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illinois's journal


213 Things SPC Schwarz is not Allowed to do

Once upon a time there lived SPC Schwarz stationed with the Army in the Balkans. He was very clever or bored, probably both because he managed to was warned about 213 things he was not allowed to do. Here's the list 1. Not allowed to watch Southpark when I’m supposed to be working.2. My proper military title is ‘Specialist Schwarz’ not ‘Princess Anastasia’.3. Not allowed to threaten anyone with black magic.4.

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Tagged as pc 213 schwarz fun funny allowed


New Flybook VM laptop

Dipped in canary yellow, black, red or silver, they tote a telescoping arm which means the 12.1-inch LCD screen can be adjusted so you won’t have to strain your neck and peepers. Nifty.Specs-wise, the VM lappies wrap up Bluetooth 2.0, WiFi, stereo speakers and a fingerprint reader. Oh, and a microphone and camera, both great for Skype’ing. Start saving those pennies because Flybook's fresh fare will be out at Widget from mid-March. Prices are expected to start at around £1,600.http://www.gadgetcandy.com/archives/2007/01/flybook_vm.php

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Tagged as flybook laptop

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