Freshmen, here is a list of penalties that you should know about.

1. PENALTY: TRYING TO IMPRESS PEOPLE WITH YOUR DJ SKILLS

2. PENALTY: ASKING ANNOYING QUESTIONS THAT DELAY THE END OF CLASS

3. PENALTY: JACKING OFF WHILE YOUR ROOMMATE IS TRYING TO SLEEP

4. PENALTY: EXPECTING A BLOWJOB BECAUSE YOU THREW A PARTY IN YOUR DORM ROOM

5. PENALTY: TRYING TO IMPRESS GIRLS WITH FISTING JOKES

6. PENALTY: TAKING TWO KARATE COURSES DOES NOT MAKE YOU BRUCE LEE

7. PENALTY: DANCING LIKE THE WHITEST MAN ON THE PLANET

8. PENALTY: HIDING THE LAST BEER

9. PENALTY: JOINING THE DIVING TEAM

10. PENALTY: LYING ABOUT THE SIZE OF YOUR PENIS

11. PENALTY: BRAGGING THAT YOU ARE THE LORD OF THE DANCE

12. PENALTY: STILL THINKING “RAISE THE ROOF” IS POPULAR

13. PENALTY: CONSTANTLY SHOWING EVERYONE THAT YOU COULD TOTALLY PASS A SOBRIETY TEST

14. PENALTY: SHOWING UP TO A PARTY EMPTY-HANDED

15. PENALTY: YOU ARE SURROUNDED BY A VISIBLE STENCH CLOUD BECAUSE YOU HAVEN’T DONE LAUNDRY IN SIX WEEKS

16. PENALTY: STANDING AT THE DOOR AND ASKING EVERYONE FOR KEG MONEY