I might consider church if…

When I was a baby I was baptised in the Baptist church. When I was a toddler we were Mormons. When I was 11 and 12 I went to church by myself every Sunday at the Salvation Army church. I also wanted to become a priest. Yes, I realized that the Salvation Army isn’t catholic now but it wasn’t the religion I was concerned about, I wanted to wear the uniform lol.

My entire childhood, whether I went to church or not I was a religious person. When I was 16 I was pretty much a born again. It irked me whenever someone used the “lords” name in vain.

When I was 17 years old I learned all about how god hated me and how I was going to hell just for being born gay. That’s what everyone was preaching to me when I was pushed out of the closet by my mom. I decided that the god that I know doesn’t hate me but if that’s what god really is all about then perhaps the god that I know isn’t the same god that everyone else worships and fears.

I don’t fear my god because my god loves me no matter what. My god created me the way he created me if he created me at all. After awhile I just decided that the god that everyone else believes in doesn’t exist because I can’t believe that god would create me gay then hate me for it. So I became an atheist.

I still occasionally pray to my god and hope that the god that I created in my head still loves me even though I stopped believing in him.

Chip goes to a church that is 4 houses down from our house, he even drives his car despite the fact that it’s so close he could walk. I refuse to go to that church because they want us to pretend that we don’t have a relationship, they only accept Chip because he told them that we are celibate (which is sadly true).

I refuse to go to a church where I have to explain myself and where I would have people praying for me to let god take the gayness out of me. I’m not ashamed of being gay and I don’t want these crazy people praying for me to be straight because no amount of prayer is going to change me.

I’m not totally excluding religion though, there is a gay friendly church here in Bakersfield that I would consider going to. I’m not going to name names but it’s an Episcopal church. I really don’t care if a church is Baptist, Salvation Army or Mormon, if it’s a church that accepts me and isn’t preachy to me then I’ll go.

The church that I found is less than 2 miles from our house, I know exactly where it is too, we pass it all the time. It only takes 3 minutes to drive there.

Here is what it says on their website:

“[church's name] Episcopal Church affirms that it is a Welcoming Congregation, one in which gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, or transgender persons, either singly or with their partners, are welcomed and treated the same as all other persons or couples in the parish. Additionally, being welcoming means that all LGBT persons will be considered for leadership positions, including serious and honest consideration for Holy Orders, without regard to sexual orientation or gender identity. Furthermore, [church's name] Episcopal Church affirms that the rites “Celebration and Blessing of a Marriage” and “The Blessing of a Civil Marriage” should be available to all LGBT couples.”

I like what they say, although Chip doesn’t believe in gay marriage or even a civil union only because when Prop 8 came out, the commercials lied and said that Kindergarten teachers would teach 5 year olds about gay people and he believed it.

I have the bible on my Nook and I would definitely go to this church with my Nook. Although, I don’t know if Chip would switch church’s because he would feel obligated to continue going to his church. If he ever decided to change then I would be more than happy to go with him.

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