I have been living with depression.

My daughter has been down there since year 2000 when she tried to take her life. Or actually much longer, but she won't tell me how and when IT began.

I also have a close friend who has been on medication for five years. At the moment she takes six different pills a day. There has not been any improvement, she is going to therapy, like my daughter, but the situation is still the same. As if it were final. Once you get sick, you will be doomed for the rest of your life.

I have had no means to understand depression, though I have read a lot, searched the net, talked with doctors and therapists. I simply did not understand. I must admit that I thought these patients were selfish and lazy. Like they had found their comfort zone and got permission to stay there. Why should THEY be allowed to leave everything to others. Not go to school and work, not do anything at home, only because they feel 'bad'.

And then - I found myself down there.

I am depressed. I have left everything undone here at home, I didn't take care of my work. I am totally useless!! I hope I could find a way to survive WITHOUT six pills of different colours a day.

There MUST be a way. Depression is an unbalande of the brain, a chemical thing, isn't it?